Mr John Worthing (Jack) - Yes, Lady Bracknell, I don't actually know who I am by birth. I was ... well, I was found. In a handbag ... in the cloakroom at Victoria Station.

Lady Bracknell - Found! In a handbag! You can hardly imagine that I and Lord Bracknell would allow our only daughter to marry into a cloakroom and form an alliance with a parcel.

Cecily Cardew/The Hon Gwendolen Fairfax Do you suggest, Miss Fairfax, that I entrapped Earnest into an engagement? How dare you? This is no time for wearing the shallow mask of manners. When I see a spade I call it a spade. I am glad to say that I have never seen a spade. It is obvious that our social spheres have been widely different.

Good heavens, Lane! Why are there no cucumber sandwiches? There were no cucumbers in the market, sir. No cucumbers! Not even for ready money.

Yes, Mr Worthing, what have you got to say to me?

I rely on you to arrange my music for me, Algernon. One wants something that will encourage conversation, particularly at the end of the season when everyone has practically said whatever they had to say, which in most cases was probably not much.